


I'll Be Watching You

by centreoftheselights



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Arguing, Break Up, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Lovers, Feeling Damaged, Hate Sex (referenced), Hatred, M/M, Obsession, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Self-Hatred, Unable To Walk Away, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 07:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18383657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights
Summary: Damon Čizik is a liar. And there's nothing Patton Morales hates more than a liar.





	I'll Be Watching You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by The Police's song [Every Breath You Take](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs). Hint: this is not a healthy relationship.
> 
> With thanks to [Marinia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marinia) who contributed a couple of lines when this was a Discord chat, and also is an all-round cool person!

Damon Čizik is a liar. And there's nothing Patton Morales hates more than a liar.

He's so brazen about it, too. If you catch him in a lie, he'll laugh it off, always ready with some excuse, always with an alibi. But Patton knows that he's bad, through and through, and he's determined to prove to everyone that Damon can't be trusted.

And when Damon snarls at him, voice low and dangerous: “One day, I'm going to show them all that you're not as perfect as you like to pretend”?

Well, that just means that there are stakes. It's not a game without someone to play against.

 

The collision is inevitable, but still earth-shattering, like watching stars crash into a black hole.

Their lips meet, hands on each others' shirts, biting at each others' lips, barely this side of _truly_ painful.

When it comes to passion, hatred is almost as good as lust, and it's increasingly hard to tell the difference.

It isn't good for them, for either of them. It's fucked up, Patton knows that, this infatuation without kindness, togetherness without trust, relationship without love.

But he isn't going to be the one who walks away first.

And besides, Patton tells himself, as long as Damon is with Patton, he can't hurt anyone else.

 

As for Damon, if you asked and he happened to be in the mood to talk to you, he'd tell you he just _loves_ watching Patton tear himself apart.

Damon loves seeing Patton work himself into a fury over every little thing D does, always searching for the hidden agenda, the evil plan. Loves how they only ever have sex when they're arguing, spitting insults and slinking out of bed before morning. Loves how Patton can't accept a gentle touch from him, so he has nothing he can offer but bile and bitterness.

Damon loves every moment of this, and it definitely isn't burning at him like acid, eating away at him day by day.

But the thing Damon loves most of all is the hollow victory of knowing that if Patton ever gave in, ever treated Day with softness and started being a real boyfriend to him?

Well, then Damon would have won. And Patton would hate himself even more than he does now.

 

It ends, as it was always going to, in an argument. How could it not, when argument was all the two of them ever had?

But this time, after months of going around the same old cycles, Damon simply… gives in.

“Okay,” he spits, “You win. I'll be gone by morning.”

And for once, he keeps his word.

When Patton wakes, the house is empty, and quiet. No slamming doors, no hissed insults, no screaming matches to break the peace.

And Patton's chest aches like someone has ripped a hole through it.

He's free. He can do whatever he wants to.

And he has absolutely no idea what that is any more.

 

Patton tracks Damon down and begs, literally on his knees, saying he'll do anything for Day to come back.

“You won, D, you won months ago. I'm yours, however you want me. Just say the word.”

Damon sighs.

“This is exactly what i wanted,” he says, bitterly. “All I care about is winning. Isn't that what you've always thought?”

Patton reaches up to touch his cheek. It's such a tender motion, as gentle as if Damon was made of glass. As if he was beloved, not hated. Damon has dreamt of this, of being touched this way, as if he was cherished and not despised.

Now, he flinches away. Seeing it here, with the tears streaking down Patton's cheeks as he kneels at Damon's feet? Here, this touch is a nightmare come true.

“If I was a better person, I'd say no to you.”

“You're a better person than me,” Patton says. “You walked away in the first place. But Day – Damon, please, I can't -”

It's all broken between them, they know that. It's a sharp, jagged edge, and it cuts everywhere they make contact. But where else are either of them going to find someone whose broken pieces fit together with theirs so well? They are crystal, they are shattered glass, they are hard and dangerous – how could they risk hurting another, so soft and vulnerable, risk fracturing them too? They've drained each other of every last ounce of good they had, and there is nothing left but each other. Not now that they've learned, so perfectly, how to break everything they touch.

Neither of them is strong enough to pull away, not again. They sit together on the floor, bitter tears running down their faces. It's vulnerable, in a way they've never been with each other before, although perhaps that's only because they have nothing left to build walls out of.

Their hands touch, softly, skin to skin.

And for a second, they are almost whole.


End file.
